Category Archives: Avoidance

Tuesday Turn it Around Tip # 2 of Ten

“She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 2 Samuel 11:3 (NIV) – A lesson in Avoidance of sexual sin

Everybody knows the story of David and Bathsheba – a morality tale regarding the fall of king David into adultery and murder.   Certainly, there is a lesson that these “big” sins are to be avoided, but the story is much more sophisticated than just “do not do that”.  It is a story about the fruitlessness of trying to cover our sins, the consequences such sin has directly on our families, and how God’s blessings can easily be taken for granted.

In my book the “Perfect Circle” I discuss the need to Avoid sexual sin as way of creating a successful and lasting marriage.  This is never easy in a society completely awash with sexuality. Whether it is the ubiquity of pornography, bikini babes on sports sites, or simply the girl in the office with tight clothes, lust is hard to avoid.  I believe the story of David and Bathsheba gives a very subtle hint on how sexual sin can be avoided.  Bathsheba was introduced as someone’s daughter.  This is a very important observation.  She was the daughter of Eliam, one of David’s own warriors.  And so it goes with internet girl, sports calendar girl, or office girl – even though we make them sex objects, they are in fact, actual persons with actual fathers.  They are someone’s daughter.  Do you have a daughter?  God had a Son, his name was Jesus.  He was an actual person and he was treated poorly.  The story in 2 Samuel 11 ends by saying that God was displeased with David’s sin.  No less when we forget that objects of lust are someone’s daughter.  Perhaps you should point that out to yourself the next time you find yourself tempted to not avoid some person or image.  It all starts with a look – like David over his palace wall – and ends with us forgetting there is a father somewhere.  By the way, if there is no father, God says He is father to the fatherless.  Think about that.

It’s Futile!

Here is a thought about avoidance in honor of Father’s day.

When my father was upset he used to go in our garage and sweep.  I had a client who built a movie theater out of his garage and everyday after work he spent his time watching pornography.  This did not please his wife or family.  Many of my clients have issues with looking at or reading pornography on the internet.  So, I thought I would occasionally address the topic.

I live in Florida and I love to grow stuff.  Citrus and tomatoes grow well in Florida.  I love apple trees, but it would be futile to grow an apple tree in Florida.  It just would get nowhere – no matter much time and money I invested in the process.  That is exactly what it is like with pornography.  You know the outcome already.  The end is futile lust – and the end is always the same.  Jesus said that bad trees cannot produce a good crop.  All the money, time, and mental investment in viewing pornography will only produce the same lonely outcome.  It’s futile.

The definition of idiocy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.  Nothing good will ever come out of pornography.  You may protest that it produces an interest in sex in your tired body – which you tell yourself is good for your sex life.  The only problem is that you actually light-years away from your spouse.  You are committing mental adultery and that is not any more exciting for her than the guy in the garage.

Here’s my suggestion.  Flee immorality.  Stay away from pornography wherever you find it.  And whenever you are tempted say to yourself in a indignant voice, “It’s futile”.  Repeat it several times until you feel convinced.  Then go sweep your garage out.