My wife and I attended a marriage retreat hosted by our church this past weekend. The speakers were Greg and Erin Smalley. I was very impressed with their approach to marriage and I would recommend buying their books and I certainly would suggest if you get a chance to hear them that you do so. I do not have permission to share their material so that is all I can say publically. I was however reminded of something very general that makes a good tip for this Tuesday. We participated in an exercise where we were asked to make a list of spouse’s positive traits. We had to write them down and then we were encouraged to expand on them on occasion. The list should grow with time. The idea was that we should visit that list and meditate on it especially when we have negative feelings toward our spouse. This makes great sense. The Smalley’s shared some stories of how helpful this can be – you will have to see them in person to hear their compelling stories. In the meantime, when was the last time you made a list of your wife’s great qualities? She has them you know. Begin by thinking of how attractive she was to you when you first met. Her smile, her looks, her hair, her positive or fun attitude, or whatever it was that made her stand out in a positive way. Since then, what about her hard work, her faithfulness, her putting up with you, her tireless efforts as a mom. Her wisdom, her perseverance, her intelligence, and her generally loving attitude. The Bible commands us to love our wife, but in reality we have lots of lots items on our list of respect. Put them down and look up the Smalley’s.