I am starting a new series of Tuesday blogs. This series will provide ten transformative tips, each and every Tuesday to help you turn your marriage around. I will also use words that start with t whenever I can. So please check this blog every Tuesday.
The first tip to transform your marriage is to think more highly of your wife. I am not joking when I say that successful marriages are ones in which the spouse thinks they got the better end of the deal. There is even research to support the idea that people are more satisfied in marriage when they feel they have “married up”. If you want to turn your marriage around – begin see your wife as better than yourself. Notice all the good qualities that attracted you to her in the first place. Even if you say you don’t love your wife now – you most likely still have a lot of things for which you respect her. Dwell on these things. A fundamental rule is that we treat people in accordance with how we feel about them.
My daughter once shook hands with President Obama and she also sat at a dinner table with Henry Kissinger. In both cases she was excited about the encounters even we if we are talking about wildly different ends of the political spectrum (you young guns can look up Kissinger, but he was “the man” at one point). My point is that it is the person’s position that calls for the high evaluation. Now here is the 64 thousand dollar question. What is a higher position than that of your wife? If her position as your wife it is not a high one, it is because you made it so.
Look at it this way. Either her marriage to you has made her more beautiful, lovely and holy with each passing day so that it is easy to remind yourself: “I am so lucky to be married to someone as beautiful as her”. Or, her marriage to you has been filled with hardship and a generally rough time, so that is easy to remind yourself: “I am so lucky that she stayed with me and puts up with me”. In either case you married up. Loving her and consistently treating her as better than yourself will transform your marriage.
Bible verse to meditate on: Philippians 2:3
“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (ESV).
Motivation song to listen to: Child of the wind by Bruce Cockburn.
Where he sings, “I love my sweet woman down to the core.”